Iyi Bayramlar

9 Sep

Today is the Turkish holiday Seker Bayrami, or the festival of breaking the fast.  It is a 3 1/2 day celebration that represents the end of Ramadan.  The Turks celebrate this holiday much in the same way we celebrate Thanksgiving.  It is important to spend time with friends and family, to focus on being thankful and being with family.

Bear with me, this post is a long one.  First, I would like to share my fasting experience with you.  Last year, I attempted to fast for Ramadan; and while I got off the a good start, I crashed and burned early and stopped fasting after the first week and a half.  This year, I was determined to be successful, to fast for the whole month.  And then it was time to start, the first day snuck up on us, as we had the wrong day circled on the calendar.  So the first day was hard, I wasn’t prepared, wasn’t able to slowly come down from my caffeine addiction-I wasn’t ready.  Then, I became bogged down in my emotions and feelings I was having post-move.  I became fixated on my weight and depressed about not having a job…I felt bad and a bit doomed to fail.  I finally forced myself to do some thinking.  My thinking led me to the reason for Ramadan.  Ramadan is about focusing on your individual spirituality, about being thankful and patient, and about being selfless.

I realized that I had been fasting because I felt like I needed to, because I felt like it was the right thing to do. However, with that mindset….it wasn’t.  So, I began to embrace my spirituality and the meaning of Ramadan…and it became easier.  Yes, I still struggled…but for me, I think the struggle was important.

And so today, I am really celebrating Seker Bayrami, because this past month was a month of great accomplishment for me.  Not just because I successfully fasted, but because I spent a lot of time with myself, and feeling ready and energized to tackle this next year.  I have realized that my spirituality will help me get through this down time in my life and stay focused; and forced me to really think about what I want to do with my life, rather than just doing something because it is a job.

So, after this introspection {I’m sorry this post is so long} I have decided to seriously consider pursuing photography as a career.  I have been putting together an online portfolio, agreeing to do some photo shoots, and contacting local photographers to see if they need assistants.  I am lucky, though I am scared and apprehensive about this move, Ilker is 100% supportive and encouraging and helping me bite this bullet.  So, you will notice a new addition to the blog-a link to my portfolio on the sidebar.  Please check it out..and let me know what you think!

xoxo

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One Response to “Iyi Bayramlar”

  1. Mimi September 10, 2010 at 12:32 am #

    Hi Jacqui, Glad to hear you successfully finished your fast. I know this makes you feel good. I think you are smart thinking
    of ways you can earn a living with the talents you already have.
    If I can share a thought or two with you. Most photographers
    think they are great artist. This is good b-cuz it makes them
    good at what they do. Shannon always felt this was the hardest
    part of working with them. If you can find ways to help a
    photographer and make them look good they will like you and
    come to feel they need you.
    Good luck and keep and open mind. I think this is a good choice for you in these hard time. Good luck. Mimi

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